50 shades of chav

Thread in 'Other Chat' started by MC2, Jul 26, 2012.

  1. MC2

    MC2 Active Member

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    Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.

    I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.

    As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !
     
  2. Ruishy1

    Ruishy1 Active Member

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    i know where you copied that from ;)
     
  3. reeperR32

    reeperR32 Drift-Street-Imports

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  4. AdDaMan

    AdDaMan Active Member

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  5. davey

    davey Active Member

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    ahahhhhahhah hahaahahahaha

    thats some fucked up shit :wack:
     
  6. nos4speed

    nos4speed Member

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  7. dale_b

    dale_b #DriftFactory

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    That's pretty funny:thumbs:

    But really, I don't know why everyone knocks the actual book, I'm not gona knock a book that gets you laid everyday until your missis finishes it, then again when she buys the other 2... Win imo. Now she's finished all 3... Damn.
     
  8. Gymbob

    Gymbob Active Member

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    lmfao thats well good!
     
  9. D4parts

    D4parts Member

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    i lol'd hard
     
  10. Adam

    Adam Active Member

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    Mines halfway through the second book lifes gooooooooooooooooooodddd, no need for cardio at the gym at them moment ;)
     
  11. chidley

    chidley i like fingers

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    damn, good memories.....who saw me behind iceland!
     
  12. conor1

    conor1 Member

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    baaahahahah brilliant. i want to read more link me up scotty.
     
  13. alex_200sx

    alex_200sx Active Member

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    Mmm, crispy pancakes
     
  14. Ollie

    Ollie LOOSE!

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    christ i thought the idea with parodies is that they are funny?
     
  15. adamfitz

    adamfitz Member

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    haha awesome!
     
  16. combattuk

    combattuk Member

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    Just a thought for you guys who are getting more sex from your misses's reading the books who's she thinking about whilst your getting it you or Mr grey haha

    Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2
     
  17. Mikey E

    Mikey E Member

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    Awesome lmao !
     
  18. Carpe Diem

    Carpe Diem Supra 3.0

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    *Nevermind*
     
  19. AlexFR

    AlexFR Member

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    stealing that, quality!!
     
  20. Carpe Diem

    Carpe Diem Supra 3.0

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    I normally think of someone else so fairs fair...
     

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